The Last of Your Faith

Woman with the issue of blood (Part 1)

This morning I feel that God wants to talk to the people who feel like they have nothing left. Who feel like they are all out of tricks. He wants to talk to the people looking around and wondering how they got here. God wants to speak to the people who are at their end. Who lost all hope and lost all sense of dreaming. He is speaking to the people who feel a deep yearning inside for something true to hold onto… This is for you.

Luke 8:43-48 (NIV) A woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for 12 years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him (Jesus) and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.” But Jesus said, “someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” Then the woman seeing that she could not go unnoticed came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

Almost every time I’ve ever heard this message preached, its spoken in a sense of measuring what big faith she must’ve had. What kind of faith does it take to know in your heart that just grazing the hem of His robe is all you need and to know that He is your answer? What kind of faith do you need to fight through a crowd of people and seize the healing you’ve been so desperate for? It must be an overwhelming amount of faith. It could only be the kind of faith you read about in the bible. The kind of faith that is certain and never questions who God is and what He can do. Right?

This morning I feel God shifting my perspective and asking, What if that wasn’t the case? What if the faith she had wasn’t as big as I thought it was? What if it was just all that she had left?

In Luke 8:43 (NIV) It says, “And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her.”

I want you to take a minute to be honest with yourself about what your “illness” is and where your faith stands in it. Whether it is physical, mental, or emotional, bring yourself to that place. In the thick of your illness, where do you turn? &Who do you turn to?

In my life I’ve found myself looking to the world for answers but finding that nothing surrounds me except emptiness and empty promises from the enemy… I think most of us find ourselves in this place of our illness at some point in our lives. Searching through life trying to find an out, trying to find our reason, and hoping to be saved.

You reach out for help, but not to the One who can do the healing. Instead, you reach out to whatever vice you’ve chosen to make it through to the end of the day. You reach out thinking, maybe this time I’ll feel different. Maybe this time things will start changing. You see the world around you and its filled with so much false hope and self-help. “Read this book, learn how to live for yourself, and find the key to happiness” as if it’s ever been that easy. We live in a world driving in the fast lane. Full of quick fixes and band aids. A world that constantly pressures us to be independent and “we better make sure that we are being our best selves while doing it”. A world that tells us touching the hem of Jesus’ garment is something that is unattainable for people like us. A world filled with subliminal messages saying, “No no, what you need is just something that will get you through today, save tomorrow’s problems for tomorrow”. We live in a world that screams “this is who you are, this is your truth, own your truth and never change that for anyone”.

But where does that leave God and His truth? The truth He wants to speak over your life. The truth He is calling you to. The truth that heals. The only truth that is true.

This is what the enemy wants. He brings you to this place of promises. This place with signs telling you to stop to see the best attractions. Making promises of the worlds smallest horse, bearded lady, and a real life mermaid. A place that promises healing at a price. Then when you get there it isn’t what you expected at all. Instead it leaves you wishing for more. It leaves you longing for better but not the kind of better that God provides. The kind of “better” that fights with your soul. The kind of better that leaves a bitter taste of worldly living in your mouth. Until you get to a place you don’t recognize anymore. You feel so lost that you can’t find your way home. He wants you so far away that you can’t see the light anymore. You cant feel God’s presence. You’re too tired to turn around and reach out for Him. You look around and you feel like you have nothing else left. He whispers into your ear saying, “This is as good as it will ever get. You’re stuck in this place now”.

Then we hear of this woman’s story. A woman who has been suffering for 12 years. A woman who spent all she had on doctors who couldn’t heal her. We hear of a woman who spent the last 12 years living in loneliness and without community. Who, because of her illness was parted from worshipping with others. A woman whose illness considered her to be unclean… & for anyone and everything she touches to be considered unclean. We see a woman with nothing else to give.

I imagine that this woman has made amends with the fact that this is her life now. That this woman has given up all hope of healing. She’s tried everything and with no support. I imagine that every day when she wakes up she has to face her truth all over again. That she tells herself every morning “that this life is not a life worth saving, that it’s not a life worth living for”.

I imagine this woman being so tired of fighting, so tired of trying. I imagine the hole in her heart as she recognizes the emptiness inside.

Then I imagine her hearing about a man named Jesus. A man who has performed miracles, casting out demons and healing the sick. I imagine her not allowing herself to hope. She’s tried everything, what’s different this time? I hear the enemy questioning her, asking if she is ready to be disappointed again. I feel her heart torn in two. One side telling her to get up and find Him and the other half reminding her of all the times she has fallen. I Imagine her heart and mind being at war, leaving no room for her to breathe. She feels God calling her but she’s too afraid to move. She’s too afraid to take the first step toward her healing, toward The Healer. She’s too afraid that He might be just another empty promise.

I sense the lack of courage as she conjures the strength to get up and find Him. I hear her questioning herself along the way, wondering if she made the right decision. I can feel the tiniest bit of hope forming inside, only for her to realize that she should never let it grow any bigger than that. I look through her eyes while she sees the crowd. Starting to turn around because there is no way she will ever make it to Him. There is no point in trying. Fighting the crowd would take more out of her than she has. What if she can’t even reach Him? What if she can’t find the words to ask for healing? What if it fails? Then what?

I imagine her pushing through the crowd anyway, trying to get His attention but failing. I imagine that she reaches out her hand and with the tiniest bit of hope she has, she stretches out as far as she can, and she finally grazes the hem of his robe. I hear her whispers as she desperately reaches for Him, “God, this is all I have left. This is all I can give. Here it is. I trust you”.

I know the amount of courage it took to make that decision. The amount of courage it took to take that first step. The fear and doubt that fills your heart. All the “what ifs” that holds you back. The enemy uses that to keep you from reaching for the hem of His robe. He floods your heart with so much hurt, disappointment, and regret. He sends reminders of all the times it never worked. Reminders of all the efforts tried in our own strength. He sends reminders of how broken we are and then questions us, making us wonder, “do we even want healing?”, I’m comfortable here. I know how to live THIS life. I know what to expect. What if it works? What next?

The courage it takes to try one last time. To try the final thing. To try the only thing you know in your heart to be true. It’s scary. It’s hard. It’s something that held me back from reaching for him for a very long time. It had more questions than answers and I wasn’t ready to ask more questions. I wasn’t ready to use the little bit of energy I have left on hoping… I wasn’t ready to believe.

But then Luke 8: 44 (NIV) says, “She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.” Immediately. While reading that verse, I feel the calmness covering her. Suddenly all those questions, doubts, pain, anger, sorrow, didn’t feel so big. I see her as she recognizes that the last bit of hope she had was enough. That it was all He needed from her. Nothing more, nothing less. With that hope He showed her that He is the immediate God, He is the Healer, He is The Good Good Father that He promised He was. I imagine the relief that filled her heart. I imagine the thankfulness of being in the presence of the Healer. I imagine the realization that it wasn’t as hard as the enemy made it seem. I can feel the joy overflowing in her heart. It’s all-encompassing. It brought a feeling she can’t explain. It brought a peace she can’t explain. The kind of peace He hopes that you will also accept into your life.

Sometimes we think that we can’t come to God without this giant gesture of faith. This leap that proves I am worthy to be in the presence of our Savior… and that is okay too. But God knows our hearts. He knows how tired we’ve become from our fight, from our illness. He knows that some days it takes everything in us to just be… to just continue the tasks of day to day life. He knows that some of us are clenching as tight as we can to what we have left. He knows that we’ve been trying. That we’ve been searching. Searching the world for an answer but left with empty promises from the enemy. He knows that it robbed us of our faith. It robbed us of our hope. He knows that we feel like we have nothing left to offer. That we face every day with open hands ready to throw in the towel… He is saying to you today to give Him the last bit you have. To trust Him with it and see the wonders He can work with even a broken-hearted faith. With a faith that feels insignificant. Bring it to Him and trust that He is who He promised He is. He wants to strengthen your life. Strengthen your faith. Brighten your dreams and give you an indescribable peace over all your circumstances. He wants you to be courageous and take that first step toward Him. Past the whispers of the enemy. Past the whispers of the past. Past the crowd of insecurities. Past the fear and anxiety. Reach for Him because He wants to whisper a new word to you.

“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”