Dear God

Dear God,

Fear keeps singing

It sings a song of doubt

Wondering if I am truly following the path you laid in front of me.

It questions my every move, my every word.

Going over it again and again, thinking “could I be wrong?”

It questions my heart…

Wondering if I’m the person you chose to deliver your words

Its melody flows to a tune that I cant comprehend.

It cant be right. I cant be the one. I don’t understand why you chose me.

Dear Child,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight

Dear God,

Fear keeps singing

It sings a song of insecurity

The chorus overflows with memories of my past life. Memories of a life before you.

Flooded with shame

Flooded with guilt

Flooded with the voice in my head saying “you’ll never be enough, you’ll never do enough”

“Be better, be more, do more, prove yourself worthy”

It’s song reminds me of all the ways that I am less than.

It reminds me of all my limitations

It shows me the success of people surrounding me

and shows me the person who stares back in the mirror.

Will I ever measure up?

Dear Child,

You are remarkably and wondrously made, my works are wonderous and I know this very well

Your bones were not hidden from me when you were made in secret,

when you were formed in the depths of the earth. My eyes saw you when you were formless;

All your days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.

Dear God,

Fear keeps singing

It sings a song of worry

Worrying about the future

Worrying about the past

Worrying for my children

Worrying for my husband

It’s tempo is so fast, matching the beating of my heart…

Racing

Racing to keep up with millions of thoughts

Wondering…

“What if it all goes wrong?”

Dear Child,

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. "

"Consider the birds in the sky: they don’t sow or reap to gather into barns,

yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Aren’t you worth more than they?"

Dear, God

Fear is singing

It sings a song of anxiety

Its bass so loud it drowns the sound of your voice

My mind can only focus on the noise around me

My words are trembling, my voice low, and my hands are shaking

It’s lyrics are on repeat

“Why did you say that?

Why did you do that?

Why are you like this?

Why are you so nervous?

Get it together.”

My heart is racing again

I am just trying to catch my breath

Dear Child,

Do you not know? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God, The Creator of the whole earth. He never becomes faint or weary;

There is no limit to his understanding. He gives strength to the faint and strength to the powerless.

Youths may become faint and weary, and young men stumble and fall,

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; They will run and not become weary

They will walk and not faint

Dear God,

Fear is singing

It sings a song of desperation

With every breath I call out your name

With every breath I sing to you

With every breath I recognize you are the only one

You are the only answer

My heart cries out that I need you

I need your guidance

I need your strength

I need your love

I trust in you

Dear Child,

Remember the Psalms

“Rest in God alone, my soul, For my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I will not be shaken.

My salvation and glory depend on God, My strong rock. My refuge is in God.

Trust in him at all times, you people; Pour out your hearts before him. God is our refuge.”

Dear Child,

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go

Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 139: 14-16, John 14:1, Matthew 6:26, Isaiah 40:28-31